There was no call, just a note to say
Please call sometime, sometime today.
It didn’t feel right it felt no good
I felt a chill from where I stood.
The news was no, the words were cold.
The seller had swallowed what the agent sold.
With messages mixed and truths astray,
It was a dispiriting end to a dismal day.
There is no way, no way of getting
A feel for price over the house you’re fretting.
You think Good God! it’s so much cash
Just play it cool, don’t be rash
The agent smiles..
…there’s lots of interest I’ll tell you that
I stared at the shoes as we walked and sat.
Square toed you know, the nasty kind
I tried to push the thought, to the back of my mind.
Yet for all the guff, the spiel, hot air
I thought of a price that I thought fair.
The agent blustered the usual tripe
Yet I needed to know my bid, how ripe?
Am I in the mix, is the deposit enough?
What say the vendor, does he like my stuff?
The vendor sir is a considered man,
He does not care for the also ran…
…Yet he does need more, his position tight
And he’s going to decide, I hear tonight.
He’s bid himself on a house out west
And his wife is on him, he needs the best…
…The best bid you know, not who nor why
It’s money they want, the rest by the by.
But they want it quick so bid some more
I’m only saying, as I know the score.
Now listen…you get close and I’ll make the call
I’ll tell the chap you have it all,
A mortgage yes, but let’s be frank
The cash is there, it’s just in the bank..
…And you’re good to go, no chain in sight
They want this now and I think they might,
I said I’d see what I could do
And went back home to sit and stew.
I checked the sofa and behind the stairs
There was nothing there so I sold some shares.
Yet as it happened it mattered not
For fickle fate had cast her lot.
I later heard that the vendor erred
With whom the agent always preferred…
Of course! The highest bid! Wahoo, ka-ching!
No mortgage either – it’s cash who’s king!
Something a bit different.
Hepburnsays 